Divvying out roses with The Bachelor

The Bachelor S21: E6

I’ve never felt inclined to date competitively on live television, but in the spirit of Valentines Day (or Anna Howard Shaw Day, if you’re a 30 Rock fan) I decided to check out one of TV’s longest running reality shows, The Bachelor (known by its alternate title: It’s Trash, But I Love It).

TV Tuttle: The Bachelor
TV Tuttle here trying to be Bachelor-ly

Pretty much every reality show incorporates the following ingredients: high stakes, high pressure decisions with no time to think, constant jeopardy and soap opera-level melodrama.

The Bachelor
Source: ABC The Bachelor Facebook

Here’s what happened in the first half of S21:E6: drama follows Corinne (or maybe it’s the other way around), Nick gallivants with beautiful women in St. Thomas, and alcohol ruins a perfectly boring game of volleyball.

Let’s jump into the predictions, shall we?

  • Corinne stays on the show—she must; she’s a dream for the producers – TRUE. But for the love of all things good, don’t ask her to compare gold or platinum.
  • Jasmine scares Nick and goes home – TRUE. Jasmine, please refrain from cracking jokes about how much you want to choke Nick.  Thank you.
  • Daniella outlasts Whitney on the 2-on-1 date – TRUE (WITH A TWIST).  Daniella then tells Nick that she’s falling in love with him but he does not share those feelings at all…so she has to leave.
  • Nick breaks down because it’s stressful dating so many people at once – TRUE.  But then he shows some more existential fears creeping in about never finding love.  He has been on this show at least four times already, so his fears are both warranted and highly lucrative for ABC.
  • What I did not anticipate: that so many women would go home early.  I’m also ashamed to say I believed the editors when they made Corinne falling on the beach seem super dramatic in the previews.
How I felt while watching The Bachelor
How I felt while watching The Bachelor

The Bachelor is completely ridiculous but very entertaining.  While I feel a bit gross after watching this two hour episode, I think it’s appropriate to conclude with a bit of life advice:

  • Contestants: drop the vocal fry.
  • Audience: watch this with friends.
  • TV Tuttle: never watch this again.
The Bachelor Cliches
The Bachelor Cliches

TV Tuttle gives The Bachelor 1/5 broken hearts.

TV Tuttle rating: 1/5 broken hearts

14 thoughts on “Divvying out roses with The Bachelor”

  1. Oh my goodness Marcus, what a hilarious post! I love your blog and look forward to your posts, and this one did not disappoint. Keep up the great work!

  2. Loved reading your jump into the world of “unscripted” television. Excited to see what other genres you’ll try next. I’d suggest an older show, maybe some I Love Lucy, or anything else that is a classic. It’s funny to see what story lines were created by these first shows of television that are still used today.

  3. Aside from the phenomial writing, I am loooooving the pictures of you!!! They really personalises your posts! Plus they’re hilarious!
    I would love for you to watch an episode of Rick and Morty. It’s a weird adult cartoon that I find so funny.

  4. Hi Marcus, I really enjoyed the post. The Bachelor has always perplexed me considering most women I talk to find it despicable if a man decides he wants to pursue more than one woman at a time, yet the same women also love watching the Bachelor. Interesting…

  5. Bravo Marcus! Even the producers at ABC had you on the edge of your seat while watching. I have to admit, I do indulge in this reality guilty pleasure. Don’t forget catch last week’s episode, you get to meet Corrin’s infamous nanny Raquel!

  6. Marcus, I truly hope you keep this blog going once we are done class because this is great!!! I love what you have done- making predictions on television shows, great idea! I also watch the Bachelor, and your photos are very accurate of how I felt while watching as well. GREAT JOB!

  7. I love this blog! I was laughing from the beginning of this post right up until the end! For someone like myself who hates The Bachelor you have made me want to watch an episode or two. Amazing job Marcus, I really hope you continue this blog after school because its hilarious.

  8. I love your photos, they are the best!!! The post is hilarious as always. I like watching TV shows and I really enjoyed reading your post, keep the great work up 🙂

  9. What a fantastic review , I watch the Bachelor very often and that’s my expression most of the time too. Soo much drama haha. Well I look forward to more of your reviews of other shows 🙂

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