Sinking my teeth into The Vampire Diaries

This week on (the first half of) The Vampire Diaries (S8,E8):

  1. Vampire bros Stefan & Damon place a bet on whether this kind doctor named Tara is mean enough to kill Damon.
  2. Caroline (nice vampire) discovers that Sybil (mean vampire) uses mind control to get students to locate an old, magic bell. Sybil threatens to kill the students if Caroline can’t find the bell in time.
  3. An angsty father-son combo do some research about an old family bell (aha!).
Stefan & Damon, The Vampire Diaries
Vampire brothers Stefan & Damon

This episode (and probably most of TVD) follows what Christopher Booker describes as the “Overcoming the Monster” plot, which involves a seemingly invincible monster, a narrow escape from death, and a prize for the hero (usually a princess or treasure).

The Seven Basic Plots, Christopher Booker
By Source, Fair use,

Using Booker’s ideas, I made the following predictions:

  • Stefan loses control & enjoys being evil more than he should, reverting closer to his “Ripper” history– TRUE! Turns out he’s on a secret mission to be evil, but only temporarily?  Oh, and he devoured a whole bunch of hospital staff at the end.  Yikes.
  • Sybil doesn’t find the magic bell – TRUE! Someone named Selene has it, but apparently she’s hiding in the 1800’s.
  • Sybil’s students narrowly escape death– TRUE! Angsty father-son pair Peter and Matt save them, literally seconds before they all go up in flames. Phew!
  • Caroline wards off Sybil temporarily, but is stuck with her for a bit longer– TRUE! Turns out Caroline’s kids are in exile somewhere but Sybil could hurt them?
  • Tara lives – FALSE! I was too hopeful…I thought she’d outwit Stefan and Damon.  Unfortunately, she passed their ‘test’ and therefore, had to die.
How I felt while watching The Vampire Diaries
Thoughts while watching The Vampire Diaries.

Overall, the episode was pretty cringe-worthy.  From cheesy dialogue to overdone tropes, monotone, trying-to-make-vampires-sexy acting, magic plot elements (mind control much?) and even a weird case of vampire cat-calling, I’ll be perfectly content to tune into other channels from here on out.

TV Tuttle gives this episode 1.5/5 mind controlling vampire bats.

1.5/5 mind controlling vampire bats